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Runemagick: Dark dead earth

02/12/10 || Daemonomania

How do you define pleasure? Is it sipping a gin and tonic on your veranda while watching indentured servants till your land? Is it the feeling of warm mammary glands enveloping your stiff member? Is it enjoying a slice of apple pie with Sarah Palin and denouncing terrorists worldwide? Is it hoisting a mighty claw to the sky after successfully applying corpsepaint? Whatever might bring happiness to you, as you’ve probably gathered at this point ‘tis the classic death metal of Swedish decent that makes Daembot feel warm and fuzzy from head to toe. Three fucken albums, 34 tracks, and one billion braingasms later and I can safely say “Dark dead earth” is one of the most pleasurable discs in my collection.

Not that I wasn’t into Runemagick before, mind you. But having their 1998, 1999, and 2000 full-lengths on two beautiful all-black discs has earned these hairy bastards a place at the top of the titties shelf. Which is a shelf made of excellent titties, on which rest pairs of titties so outstanding the male mind reels at just a glimpse of their shiny nipples. In case you were wondering. Disturbingly, Runemagick is working hard to topple Grave from the lofty best band evah pedestal (not composed of sweatermeat) Ola and the gang hath occupied since the beginning. Hard to believe, but true.

2+ hours in roughly the same style is a bit to sit through, but there are noticeable variations between albums and standout tracks that make it all worthwhile. Seriously, listen to fucken “Enter the realm of death” and tell me that isn’t one of the best damn songs you’ve ever heard in your life. Or “Longing for Hades”. Or “Dark necroshadows”. Or “Return of the reaper”. The list goes on and on. Speaking of which, Mr. Rudolfsson must have him an excellent death metal thesaurus that calls forth one great song title after the next. “Dreamvoid serpent”? “Lightworld damnation?” “Demonstrosity”? Fuck yeah.

Century Media may be a bunch of trendwhoring felchbags today, but by signing ze Rune aeons ago and doing such a bang-up job in packaging “DDE”, I must offer them props. Hails. Cheers. If you derive even a tiny portion of the joy that I do from metal done simply, brutally, and with the heaviness of a 20-ton hammer made of indentured breasts smashing Sarah Palin’s corpsepainted face – buy this album. Buy it now. Do not wait, or the supreme force of eternity itself will decimate you.

Oh, and word up to Gorebach for recommending this to me. You will receive one coupon for a free American-style lapdance. Don’t worry, I have your address. Keep your eye on the mailbox.

9,5

Information
Released: 2008
Label: Century Media
Website: www.runemagick.se
Band
Niklas Rudolfsson: guitars, vocals, everything else from time to time
Fredrik Johnsson: guitars
Peter Palmdahl, Emma Rudolfsson: bass
Fredrik Nordstrom: keyboards, bass
Jonas Blom, Daniel “Mojjo” Moilanen: drums

Tracklist

Disc 1

01. At The Horizon’s End
02. The Black Wall
03. When Death Is The Key
04. For You, My Death
05. Curse Of The Dark Rune
06. Nocturnal Creation
07. The Supreme Force
08. Sign Of Eternity Part II
09. Hymn Of Darkness
10. Enter The Realm Of Death
11. Longing For Hades
12. Dwellers Beyond Obscurity
13. Abyss Of Desolation
14. Beyond (The Horizon’s End)
15. Dethrone The Flesh
16. The Portal Of Doom
17. Dreamvoid Serpent

Disc 2

18. The Call Of Tombs
19. Lightworld Damnation
20. Dark Necroshadows
21. The Malicious Paradise (Tiamat cover)
22. Resurrection Of The Darklord
23. Reborn In Necromancy
24. Death Collector
25. Dark Dead Earth
26. Lord Of The Grave
27. Choir Of Hades
28. Resurrection In Blood
29. Hail Death
30. Dominion Of The Necrogods
31. Demonstrosity
32. The Gates Of Hades
33. Return Of The Reaper
34. Celebration Of Death

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